This past weekend all the missionaries had the opportunity to participate in a healing retreat hosted by Dr. Bob Schuchts. I learned a lot and recognized the need for even greater conversion in my life. I realized that I underestimate the power of God to heal in all areas of our life…physical, emotional, and spiritual healing…And He does do great miracle to heal. He gave us a lot to think about and pray about. One thing that really struck me was the idea that sin causes wounds in our life, whether it is our own sin and or others that affect you. If we don’t look at those wounds and work towards healing in those areas…otherwise the wounds usually cause us to sin… It is a lot to wrap your head around. I have a genuine desire to be a woman walking in Freedom and not acting out of my woundedness. It sounds so simple, yet I think I spend most of my time acting out of my wounds then going through the being uncomfortable and uncovering old wounds in order to heal them.
One of the highlights was meeting the priest journeying us this weekend, Father Oscar. He is a retired priest who was amazing and so dad like. He was so loving and had a willingness to journey with us. He was full of wisdom and was fun and funny to talk to. In confession, he had this uncanny ability to read my soul and challenge me to more…He was amazing. It made me realize how powerful our sacraments are and how much love God wants to pour out on us in Mass and in Confession.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Being His!
So I have been a little slow in updating my blog. I really have no excuse except that I become completely overwhelmed with the amount of things to talk about that I don’t know where to start. Since my 8 day retreat, God has been continually calling me out more and more deeply, pretty much in every area of my life. I want to look at Him and say “you are my number 1, I will follow you anywhere”, but usually I end up putting stipulations and suggestions attached to whatever and where ever He is calling me. It frustrates me, yet I don’t know how to stop doing it. Please pray for me.
Living in Community is crazy. I have learned to love in a whole new way, and also to see so many of my own faults and ways I fail to love. It is so much harder than I thought it would be, yet so good all at the same time. I can say that I truly love everyone in this community. And I can only pray that I learn to love them better each day. Praise God!
The time here is flying by and the question I get asked most is “what are you going to do next year?”. Oh…if I only knew! ☺ I have learned this being here though…it is less about the title or what you do verse about who you are in Christ. So I am not really that worried. I could really do anything, the more important question that is burning my heart is “who am I going to be?”. God is calling me to be His “beloved” and so often I settle for less than that. After all it is so much easier to be less than that instead of really trying to live into the title of “beloved”. Hmmm maybe in my next 30 years of life I will figure it out.
So I don’t know what my job will be next year, I don’t know where I will be next year, I don’t know what my vocation is going to be, I don’t know really what God is calling me to do….but I do know that I am His, and there is incredible peace in that.
Living in Community is crazy. I have learned to love in a whole new way, and also to see so many of my own faults and ways I fail to love. It is so much harder than I thought it would be, yet so good all at the same time. I can say that I truly love everyone in this community. And I can only pray that I learn to love them better each day. Praise God!
The time here is flying by and the question I get asked most is “what are you going to do next year?”. Oh…if I only knew! ☺ I have learned this being here though…it is less about the title or what you do verse about who you are in Christ. So I am not really that worried. I could really do anything, the more important question that is burning my heart is “who am I going to be?”. God is calling me to be His “beloved” and so often I settle for less than that. After all it is so much easier to be less than that instead of really trying to live into the title of “beloved”. Hmmm maybe in my next 30 years of life I will figure it out.
So I don’t know what my job will be next year, I don’t know where I will be next year, I don’t know what my vocation is going to be, I don’t know really what God is calling me to do….but I do know that I am His, and there is incredible peace in that.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Silence is Golden!
Happy New Year! I started the new year in a radical, grace-filled way. God had put it on my heart since August to do a silent retreat, so when the opportunity was given to do an 8 day silent retreat, I signed up. Was I completely confident that I could do it? Absolutely not! How does one be quiet for 8 days straight, by themselves…with just God. Was I nervous? Absolutely! Yet there was something calling me to do it, and I knew God was calling me deeper into his heart.
The first couple of days was about quieting my heart. I didn’t realize how much noise I had in my life until I was there in utter silence. It was uncomfortable at first…I felt awkward…but I dove into the meditations I was given to do through out the day. On the third day He began to really talk to me, and as I dove into the scripture meditations, the prayer time, spiritual reading and journaling, God began to peel away layers of walls that I had built up around my heart that I didn’t even know was there. He was opening me up to hear His voice in a way I haven’t heard it before. It helped me to understand that I am intimately His.
I used to think that God talked in a big booming voice, letting people know his wrath…now I know He speaks in a gentle whisper, letting me know how much I am loved, how much I am forgiven, and how beloved I am…even when I am not worthy of receiving those gifts. Those are the times He pours them out the most, when I deserve it the least. His voice is healing, comforting, and unwavering.
I used to think that I knew what holiness was, but I don’t. I have definitely had glimpses of it from people in my life, but I feel like up to this point I have done holy things, but had not been called so deeply in relationship with Christ that I honestly would say “I would die for Him”. Now there isn’t a shadow of a doubt, I would die proclaiming His name from the rooftop. I feel like I know Him that intimately…I have that much confidence in the message of Love He proclaims. And the coolest thing is it is available for all. My heart burns for others to know this in their lives!
How do you sum up one of the most blessed weeks of my life. Radical Love! By the end I was so at home in the silence it was hard to readjust. It was hard to begin to carry out the call to deeper holiness and love that He is asking me to live out. I have fallen a lot in the 3 days of talking that I have had since the retreat has ended, but in the midst of those falls, I have run to Him, and asked to help me stand back up and try again. I feel like a toddler trying to walk…hopefully eventually I will be able to take some steps! Until then, I will keep practicing with patient confidence in the Lord.
God Bless!
The first couple of days was about quieting my heart. I didn’t realize how much noise I had in my life until I was there in utter silence. It was uncomfortable at first…I felt awkward…but I dove into the meditations I was given to do through out the day. On the third day He began to really talk to me, and as I dove into the scripture meditations, the prayer time, spiritual reading and journaling, God began to peel away layers of walls that I had built up around my heart that I didn’t even know was there. He was opening me up to hear His voice in a way I haven’t heard it before. It helped me to understand that I am intimately His.
I used to think that God talked in a big booming voice, letting people know his wrath…now I know He speaks in a gentle whisper, letting me know how much I am loved, how much I am forgiven, and how beloved I am…even when I am not worthy of receiving those gifts. Those are the times He pours them out the most, when I deserve it the least. His voice is healing, comforting, and unwavering.
I used to think that I knew what holiness was, but I don’t. I have definitely had glimpses of it from people in my life, but I feel like up to this point I have done holy things, but had not been called so deeply in relationship with Christ that I honestly would say “I would die for Him”. Now there isn’t a shadow of a doubt, I would die proclaiming His name from the rooftop. I feel like I know Him that intimately…I have that much confidence in the message of Love He proclaims. And the coolest thing is it is available for all. My heart burns for others to know this in their lives!
How do you sum up one of the most blessed weeks of my life. Radical Love! By the end I was so at home in the silence it was hard to readjust. It was hard to begin to carry out the call to deeper holiness and love that He is asking me to live out. I have fallen a lot in the 3 days of talking that I have had since the retreat has ended, but in the midst of those falls, I have run to Him, and asked to help me stand back up and try again. I feel like a toddler trying to walk…hopefully eventually I will be able to take some steps! Until then, I will keep practicing with patient confidence in the Lord.
God Bless!
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Journey!
One of the Altars in the Racho Chapel's
Dona Anita with the cross Sean got for her.
Me with a baby! Suprise Suprise!
The home visit team praying over Dona Maria
When you think of Missions, most people don't think of 80 plus hours of the time in a 15 passenger van. So when God called us on mission to Mexico, I was questioning our decision to drive from Georgia to Mexico. Little did I know how blessed the journey would be. Now call me crazy for thinking of our journey and remembering that Mary and Joseph made a journey as well. Coincidence that our journey happened during Advent? I think not. In true Covecrest style we set off into the unknown with eager hearts to serve, and little understanding of what to expect. The first day we traveled from Tiger, GA to Lafayette, LA. Imagine 10 people in a 15 passenger van with all our luggage and donations piled up high. Three more missionaries were following in a car behind. After sing alongs, morning prayer, and rosary and 10 hours in the van with 2 stops...we made it to our first check point in Lafayette, LA.
We were blessed by the people in Lafayette. The Clement's opened their home to us and gave us a true LA meal of Gumbo. We claimed our air mattresses, prayed in thanksgiving for the trip, did consecration, night prayer, and slept through the night. The next day brought the feast of Immaculate Conception!! We got to have mass at the Cathedral in Layfette with the bishop. And I got my first taste of a po' boy sandwich in true LA style. We hung out for the day and picked up 4 missionaries from Family Mission's Company: Neil, Joseph, Chris, and John Paul. We set off again to drive through the night and meet the Mesa Missionaries in Texas. It is funny how journeys bring people together. We arrived at our destination at about 5 in the morning. That was a harrowing adventure, as Mr. Frank almost took out a trailer and did take out some construction cones as lanes on the highway narrowed without any warning. He was so calm and prayerful about it...I was a nervous wreck. He is way more holy than I! We dropped Mr. Frank off at a truck stop near where he had to pick up a mission's van that had broke down a couple of weeks before. Lesson 1 of a Missionary: Take a ride when you can get one! It's okay to go off the beaten path.
The Mesa missionaries were behind schedule, so Lesson 2 began: Always be patient and flexible. 3 hours later at the truck stop...I was questioning my decision to come. Maybe God was calling me to minister to the truckers, I was too tired to even contemplate, but as Joseph our fearless leader gave us Lesson 3: "Praise God in all situations" so all I could say was "Praise God"! Danielle taught up Lesson 4: Humility, humility, humility, when she scraped up her face when she tripped and fell at the truck stop. It looked like it really hurt, and she took it like a champ and didn't complain once. I am learning holiness from those around me! We went to breakfast and met the Mesa Missionaries and our journey to Mexico continued.
Journeys take you to places unknown, to see things that you haven't seen before. Mary and Joseph's journeyed to Bethlehem to meet Christ. Our journey led us to the location of General Cepeda, Mexico. But more importantly our journey led us into the heart of Christ much in the same way Mary and Joseph received Him. We met Christ in the people, in their poverty, in the generosity that they showed in that poverty, to their joy and despair and most of all their great faith. Each day we would journey to our work projects to help Dona Anita fix her roof and wall or Luz, a mother with 4 children, to put a roof on her house. The journey took us to the home visits, into the hearts of the people. At night we would journey into the desert, to the small ranchos communities, where people had so little, but had great faith. I journeyed door to door and invited people to prayer in the Chapel of their community, and there we prayed for them, we prayed with them. We shared how God was moving. I saw Jesus in them.
They journey home also reminded me of the holy missionary family of Joseph, Mary and Jesus. They went back a different way to get home. While we did follow the same path home, we defiantly came home different. I came home with a renewed understanding of what it means to be a missionary, to have a heart full of Christ, a heart full of generosity, not just to pray for others, but pray with others. That God invites us to be missionaries to every single person He puts in our path! God knew what He was doing when He called us on this journey, as He invited us into this mission. The greatest lesson that He showed me was that it can't end in Mexico, that it is something that I have to live out everyday.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Small Things
Carla Cleaning!
Sarah, Chris, and Kelsey eating by the fire.
The Chapel in fall before it snowed!!
So the title of my blog is do small things with great love. That is one of my favorite quotes from mother teresa. It seems like such an easy statement, but not so much. We, as missionaries, have been studying Story of a Soul by St. Therese and her spirituality. I started reading the book, and she just irked me. I had to ask myself why...she is holy...the church recognizes that, right. I realized that she is just so holy and I am so NOT!! So really I am more irked at myself then St. Therese. God has really been working in my heart, and He has been revealing that I am not holy in the small things. St. Therese was pursuing God's heart, She was pursuing love. She loved people in their weaknesses and not in spite of them. Once again, something that I really struggle with. So God has been calling me out into deeper holiness. St. Therese says that when you have been loved abundantly, you must give love for love. I have been asking God to teach me to listen and to love better. That is at the heart of vocation...to love. So why does it scare me? I know God will fulfill me, yet I still hesitate. Yet scripture says "Perfect Love casts out all Fear." Anyway, I want holiness, I want God and I want to love better, I dont' want to be afraid. St. Therese teach me!
Love,
Carla
Friday, October 31, 2008
On the Mountain
So it has been a crazy busy week, with never a dull moment. I am enjoying community life and being able to serve. We have our crazy moments...I fell in a hole the other day...but there is something to be said about living, working, praying and playing with the same people. There are lots of laughs for sure!!
Prayer is the foundation of life here. Starting each morning with a holy hour has been very hard and very blessed. Even though I hate getting up in the mornings and will complain and want to sleep in, it totally sets the tone for the day. My prayer lately is that I can be open to whoever is put in front of me that day. Yesterday we had youth ministers from Atlanta come up for the day to pray and hang out. I knew a lot of them from when I was a youth minister. It was great to get to be present to them and serve them. They are doing such important work. I have been diving into the book Radical Hospitality, based on the Rule of St. Benedict. I have learned that I need to listen more and talk less. Easier said then done.
So the highlight of the week was family dinner. The singles in the community are invited to the different families houses on Wednesday nights for dinner. It was the highlight for 2 reasons: 1. It is a great time just to get to be engulfed into the heart of the family. 2. It was one of those fun God moments for me this week. Chris, Sarah and I went to the Ball's house this week. Dinner was fabulous and so fun to be part of the family. I got to feed little 2 year old Austin with train noises, so he would eat all his pork and get ice cream for dessert. So fun!!! The highlight came at family prayer time before bed. We all sat down around a prayer table while little Caroline joyously was ringing her little fairy bell to call us to prayer. Her little shouts of "it's prayer time, Come pray" made my heart smile.
As we sat down she brought us each a pillow it sit in. It was her night to decide the order of prayer. She chose Song, bible reading, and chosen prayer. Eight year old Madison, chose You never let go as the song. Caroline and Austin very reverently got on their knees and folded their hands as the song started...so cute!! Then as the chorus raised, Caroline got to her feet and recklessly started dancing around in circles, throwing her arms around. And of course Aussie followed suit. It is, I am sure, how King David danced before the arch of the covenant, with reckless abandoned, just not caring. Every now and then Caroline would kneel back down and fold her hands and pray, but then jump back up and dance.
It made my soul happy to see her in her reckless abandon and simplicity of faith. After all that is where God is calling me...to that reckless abandon. So next time I pray, don't be suprised if you see me dancing around with my arms held high. :)
Prayer is the foundation of life here. Starting each morning with a holy hour has been very hard and very blessed. Even though I hate getting up in the mornings and will complain and want to sleep in, it totally sets the tone for the day. My prayer lately is that I can be open to whoever is put in front of me that day. Yesterday we had youth ministers from Atlanta come up for the day to pray and hang out. I knew a lot of them from when I was a youth minister. It was great to get to be present to them and serve them. They are doing such important work. I have been diving into the book Radical Hospitality, based on the Rule of St. Benedict. I have learned that I need to listen more and talk less. Easier said then done.
So the highlight of the week was family dinner. The singles in the community are invited to the different families houses on Wednesday nights for dinner. It was the highlight for 2 reasons: 1. It is a great time just to get to be engulfed into the heart of the family. 2. It was one of those fun God moments for me this week. Chris, Sarah and I went to the Ball's house this week. Dinner was fabulous and so fun to be part of the family. I got to feed little 2 year old Austin with train noises, so he would eat all his pork and get ice cream for dessert. So fun!!! The highlight came at family prayer time before bed. We all sat down around a prayer table while little Caroline joyously was ringing her little fairy bell to call us to prayer. Her little shouts of "it's prayer time, Come pray" made my heart smile.
As we sat down she brought us each a pillow it sit in. It was her night to decide the order of prayer. She chose Song, bible reading, and chosen prayer. Eight year old Madison, chose You never let go as the song. Caroline and Austin very reverently got on their knees and folded their hands as the song started...so cute!! Then as the chorus raised, Caroline got to her feet and recklessly started dancing around in circles, throwing her arms around. And of course Aussie followed suit. It is, I am sure, how King David danced before the arch of the covenant, with reckless abandoned, just not caring. Every now and then Caroline would kneel back down and fold her hands and pray, but then jump back up and dance.
It made my soul happy to see her in her reckless abandon and simplicity of faith. After all that is where God is calling me...to that reckless abandon. So next time I pray, don't be suprised if you see me dancing around with my arms held high. :)
Saturday, October 18, 2008
God's Love
So this month has been about diving into the heart of God. I don't think I question God's love for me, but in not questioning it, I find I haven't tried to dive deeply into the immense love He has for me specifically. I guess I just took it for granted. By diving into His unconditional, sacrificial love, I have come to see my incredible worth in his eyes. I am starting to see more with God's eyes at others, who are created in His image and His likeness. I guess that is what Mother Teresa was saying when she said that she sees the face of God in the poor she cares for.
The missionaries had the blessed opportunity to go hear Christopher West speak on Theology of the Body. It is this amazing teaching that John Paul II wrote on the truth and fullness of our sexuality, love, and our identity. It is amazing teaching and truth and freedom lie in the teachings. Sex and us being male and female are holy things that are good and pure. Marriage and family are the center of our faith. It was amazing conference and one of the things that he said that stuck was that "Love never is, it is only becoming." That is daunting but good at the same time. With my time here I am coming to learn how to love better and deeper all of God's creations, but I will never arrive at perfect love. It is more about the journey than the destination. I was amazed at the people of St. Monica's parish. They generously opened their doors to us to attend the conference for free and provided food and places to stay! It was hospitality at it's finest.
Paul, a missionary from Ghana, has come to live with the community for the month. It has already been a blessing to hear from him and his mission. He is married and has 2 children. He traveled here alone, for a month. He has been talking a lot about his people and most of them don't have access to school, health care, and the average family makes only 1 dollar a day. Yet today, when he was speaking on Charity, he said that God's first gave to us his son. So what is our gift going to be? If we have the Son in our hearts, we can give him to others. If we have gratitude for the blessings we have as Americans, we can share that gift. We need to give out of our love and not just to do good.
Ahhh...the lessons I am learning. I am working hard, serving, praying and each day going to bed utterly exhausted. It has been so good. Hopefully it will only get better. If you need any prayers, shoot me an email carlaheinsch@gmail.com. I do holy hour everyday, so I would love to lift specific intentions up!! I loved having St. Thomas the Apostle up here last weekend. I knew I missed you, but didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw all of your smiling faces and got your hugs! Keep being holy!
Blessings,
Carla
The missionaries had the blessed opportunity to go hear Christopher West speak on Theology of the Body. It is this amazing teaching that John Paul II wrote on the truth and fullness of our sexuality, love, and our identity. It is amazing teaching and truth and freedom lie in the teachings. Sex and us being male and female are holy things that are good and pure. Marriage and family are the center of our faith. It was amazing conference and one of the things that he said that stuck was that "Love never is, it is only becoming." That is daunting but good at the same time. With my time here I am coming to learn how to love better and deeper all of God's creations, but I will never arrive at perfect love. It is more about the journey than the destination. I was amazed at the people of St. Monica's parish. They generously opened their doors to us to attend the conference for free and provided food and places to stay! It was hospitality at it's finest.
Paul, a missionary from Ghana, has come to live with the community for the month. It has already been a blessing to hear from him and his mission. He is married and has 2 children. He traveled here alone, for a month. He has been talking a lot about his people and most of them don't have access to school, health care, and the average family makes only 1 dollar a day. Yet today, when he was speaking on Charity, he said that God's first gave to us his son. So what is our gift going to be? If we have the Son in our hearts, we can give him to others. If we have gratitude for the blessings we have as Americans, we can share that gift. We need to give out of our love and not just to do good.
Ahhh...the lessons I am learning. I am working hard, serving, praying and each day going to bed utterly exhausted. It has been so good. Hopefully it will only get better. If you need any prayers, shoot me an email carlaheinsch@gmail.com. I do holy hour everyday, so I would love to lift specific intentions up!! I loved having St. Thomas the Apostle up here last weekend. I knew I missed you, but didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw all of your smiling faces and got your hugs! Keep being holy!
Blessings,
Carla
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